I grew up in between parents.
I grew up in between siblings.
I grew up in between homes.
I grew up in between countries.
I grew up in between cultures.
I grew up in between flights.
I grew up in between goodbyes.
I grew up in between love and hate.
I grew up in between belonging and dismissal.
I grew up in between.
And so, for a very long time, I was emotionally homeless. Everything I focused on happened outside of myself. My very unconscious mission was to find a place of belonging ‘out there’. To make other people like me, want me, accept me, love me, believe in me, see me. It was how I coped with and tried to escape all the in betweenness. Like for so many others, it was all I knew.
It took me many emotional bruises, challenges and falls in my teenage years and early adult life to realise that I had the power to change these circumstances all by myself.
Step by step, I learned how to love all the things I had believed was unloveable about me.
Step by step I learned to accept what I was told was unacceptable.
Step by step I let go of making sure everyone else was happy and started focusing on whether I was.
Step by step I removed myself from the environments, people and places that did me no good.
Step by step I chose me.
Step by step I started healing.
And with my healing process came the inner belonging and the light that shone on my gifts.
All the gifts of all the years of being in between.